Ahhhh it feels good to be back, prescription writing for the blog. I spent most of last week on an editing bender, trying to get A Little Less than Famous done. I procrastinated in the worst way and left it to the last possible moments. Luckily I had asked to help from others earlier on and well I work better under pressure anyway.
But it is done now and available for Kindle and Nook and their corresponding apps. You can find out how to buy it in this blog post.
Then immediately after finishing LLTF, my boyfriend and I took a weekend trip to San Francisco. Which was amazingly fun because I haven’t been there since I was a kid.
But anyway I’m back and we are back to a regular schedule. Today I will be doing the Tuesday Top Ten, and the Book of the Week will be back on Thursday and so on.
Now, this week’s top ten is all about those weapons of choice, the ones that our favorite fictional characters wield that we totally wish we could have. Here it is.
There’s something kind of badass about a trident. I’m not talking about the one Ariel’s father uses in Little Mermaid. I’m talking Poseidon from Percy Jackson and the delicious Finnick Odair from the Hunger Games. You put a trident in their hands and they become warriors. Finnick just looks like a pretty face and a hot body (which, I mean, he is) but he becomes pretty badass with a trident in his hand. I wouldn’t mind taking lessons on how to wield one from him. The best part is that you don’t NEED anything. You don’t need a bow AND an arrow or ammunition. You just need a trident in each hand and some badass skills.
There are two people who use a whip that make it one of the coolest weapons around: Indiana Jones and Isabelle Lightwood from the Mortal Instruments series. I mean, where would Indiana be without his trusty whip in his adventures? Nowhere, I tell you. And Isabelle? She uses her flashy gold and silver whip to chop up demons! There is something very sexy about that, which makes it even more awesome. I mean, Isabelle walks into a room, looking sexy as hell, dressed in all black, red lipstick, stilettos…and then pulls out that whip. And come on, the first thing that you’re thinking is WHOA! Then she uses it to chop demons into pieces…and she’s damn good at it. That’s awesome.
I don’t know that this is a weapon, but more a tool to assist a Shadowhunter. It’s wand like and pen like, and it’s used Mark Shadowhunters with runes. Runes are tattoos that help them right better: they give them stealth and swiftness, silence, strength, healing and fearlessness. I would love to draw these tattoos on me. One, I just love tattoos (I think I’m a little addicted). And two, they give you powers. They give you the ability to be stealthy or fearless or they help you to be invisible to mundanes (regular humans). Plus you just look damn cool.
I know, they aren’t exactly the most civilized weapons in the galaxy and that Obi Wan Kenobi looks down on them with distaste but come on, the war couldn’t have been won without some good blaster power. Luke was the only with a lightsaber and he couldn’t take down the whole Evil Galatic Empire on his own now, could he? So we need a good blaster to help take down the enemy and we need the best man to handle it, Han Solo. Han Solo, the scoundrel with his loud and messy weapon, and his wild partner in crime, Chewie. I’m not talking guns here; I’m talking blasters. Because blasters are better, for their sound effects alone. Who doesn’t go around, saying “pew pew” after seeing Star Wars.
There’s nothing like a good ‘ol sword to make you feel pretty powerful. Look at everyone in the Game of Thrones. Once Upon a Time. Alanna, Keladry and Aly of Tortall. Every fairy tale ever. The Heir Trilogy. The Seven Realms novels. Lord of the Rings. Percy Jackson and his sword, Riptide. And on and on and on. There is a beauty and powerfulness to the idea of have skills in swordsmanship. Even just the idea of having a sword hang on my belt makes me feel more powerful. I want to walk casually into a room, my hand resting on my sword hilt, letting everyone know that I am not someone to toy with. And think about it, I’m a tiny person. I’m not someone you see and think “OH NO, SHE’S INTIMIDATING!” No way. But one of my favorite fictional swordswomen is Alanna of Trebond from the Song of the Lioness series and she’s the tiniest and fiercest heroine with a sword in her hand. If she can do it, I definitely can do it.
5. Bow and arrow
This is probably the most popular weapon right now. Between Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games, Hawkeye in the Avengers, Oliver Queen a.k.a. Green Arrow in Arrow, and even Kili in The Hobbit. Legolas in the Lord of the Rings. Daryl in the Walking Dead. Merida in Brave. Even little Arya in Game of Thrones. And on and on and on. Especially with Katniss Everdeen. Archery is the hip thing right now. And I’m right on board with that. The fact is, archery just looks SO COOL. Its kind of an old school weapon, you know? You don’t really see the Army or the Navy busting out bows and arrows and shooting them in Afghanistan and Iraq. But old school is awesome, and it just feels like…you have to have more talent to wield a bow and arrow. Sure, you need a good eye and some aim to shoot a gun but to use a bow properly is that much harder which is why its one that I wish I had.
Update: As I was writing this post, a commercial for the new Tomb Raider came on…and wouldn’t you know it, Ms Lara Croft herself seems to be using a bow and arrow nowadays…and that doesn’t surprise me a bit!)
4. Sonic screwdriver
Okay, this isn’t exactly a weapon. Okay, it isn’t a weapon at all. But its soooooooo cool and where the hell would the Doctor be without it? Stuck behind locked doors, confused about things he had never seen before, completely incapable of overriding something on a computer or a terminal or a ship or whatever. The fact is, the Doctor isn’t the Doctor without the sonic screwdriver (and the TARDIS but that’s a WHOLE ‘nother blog post). The sonic is just kind of this little magical device that can do pretty much anything, except when it comes to wood, and its a PRACTICAL weapon. It may not actually win you any battles but its a clever little tool and I definitely want one. Plus every single time the Doctor uses the sonic on something, he has some sort of intelligent nonsense to say and everyone believes him because they don’t know any better and he’s the Doctor so he has to be right. I’d like to just walk up to something random, sonic it and then spout off some eloquent bullsh*t. I’m sure I could do it.
3. Seraph blade
For those of you who don’t know what a seraph blade is, its from the Mortal Instruments series (and maybe other series that deal with Nephilim, I don’t know). TMI is about a group of people called Nephilim or Shadowhunters, who have a sole purpose of keeping the earth safe from demons. They used their stele in order to draw Marks on their bodies to give them various strengths and powers. But the actual weapon that they use is called a seraph blade, a blade that looks like its made of ice, until you name it. A Shadowhunter gives a seraph blade its name, a name of an Angel because, of course, they are half angel/half human, and the blade begins to glow, and its the perfect weapon to take down a nasty demon. It just sounds so AWESOME. Its not a sword, its not a dagger; its something inbetween and its created for the single purpose of taking down a demon. AND IT GLOWS. I want it, because, let’s face it, besides being a wizard or a Jedi, I want to be a Shadowhunter most in the world.
2. A wand
I know, I know, its not number one. People are probably having a hissy fit right now but just pay attention for a moment okay? I want a wand because it basically can do ANYTHING. I mean, it can’t create food as we learned from Ron and Hermione in Deathly Hallows but it can duplicate it. You can hover things and you can summon things and banish them. You can change your appearance and enlarge things. You can turn off lights and open doors and you can make flowers bloom and so many things. You need seven years of schooling to master the purpose of using a wand and even then, I’m sure you don’t know it all. It is the ultimate weapon. You may ask, well, Sara, you’re a Potterhead, why isn’t it your number one? Well for two reasons: one, its not very big, which means I’m likely to lose it. I’m horrible at keeping track of things and I could totally see myself constantly losing my wand the way I lose my cell phone or my keys. And two, its SMALL. This wand is basically my lifeline as a wizard and its so small and insignificant. I’m so terrified it would be snapped in half and then where I be? Even so, its definitely a weapon I’d like to have.
Ah, yes, the classiest weapon in all the galaxy. A weapon for a more civilized age. And seriously, what every little kid wishes they could have. Hell, what every ADULT wishes they could have. And if they don’t want one, well, my opinion is that they are straight up crazy. Its even BETTER than a traditional sword because it glows, in different colors of red, blue, green and purple and it can be deactivated so, you know, you don’t sit on it or something. (What? I can totally imagine stabbing myself in the butt with my sword when I go to sit down…). I don’t care who you are; lightsabers are super cool. The noise they make when they activate, the noise they make when you use them, the noise they make when they collide with each other. The gorgeous arc they make as you swing them at your opponent. How could you not want this? Its all the beauty and class of a sword but in a more badass format.
Hope you all enjoyed this edition of the Tuesday Top Ten (on a Wednesday but who’s paying attention) and I hope you all tune in tomorrow for the Book of the Week. I’ve read so many books the past few weeks (The ENTIRE Heir Trilogy, The Girl of Fire and Thorns, Matched, The Maze Runner, Beautiful Creatures, and so on) so I need to decide which one to actually review. I guess we’ll see tomorrow.
Until then, what are your favorite weapons (or fictional objects) of choice? Let me know in the comments!
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